Six months ago Katie and I vowed our love, slapped rings on our fingers, and drove to Mexico to live on a tiny little boat in the middle of the ocean for the first year of our marriage. Not your typical honeymoon, I know. I’m here to argue, however, that the government should mandate all newlyweds to do exactly as we’ve done for the betterment of society through the strengthening of marital bonds.
We are forced to spend almost every moment within sight, reach, sound and smell of one another. Imagine the largest bathroom in the house you live in, and chances are it is larger than the living space on Selkie. Now imagine your spouse and your dog in that bathroom with you. There are no secrets, no bashful moments, no fear of reproach for personal foibles. The laundry is on the line, right out front, and issues get dealt with. There is no fleeing or delaying or pretending that problems don’t exist. Communication is not only critical, it’s inevitable. Marriage counselors across the nation would go out of business.
On the other hand, the tiny space we have on the boat also motivates us to row to shore and take long hikes through the wilderness. Heart disease and cholesterol rates would plummet, and general understanding of and appreciation for the natural world would skyrocket to all time highs.
On boat or on land, the couple would always be within sight of each other, so there would be no chance for hanky panky with the other’s best friend. Coincidentally, the husband will probably be so filthy, unkempt and maladjusted to social customs within a few weeks of life on a boat, that there can really be no chance of the fairer sex partaking with him in any extramarital affair, anyway. The divorce rate will drop drastically.
Finally, as the new couple sails through big seas in the middle of the night, and watches the infinite depths glide by below, they will be reminded how easy it would be for their spouse to kick their sorry ass right overboard if they don’t shape up and act right. It would be easily explained away as an accident. The dishes will get done in a timely manner, foot massages will abound, and I, er, the hypothetical husband we speak of, will certainly treat his lady right ‘til death do they part.
I understand that not all can afford to go out for a weekend and get a spa or a boat to enjoy their evening. Thus I would recommend you check out the following link to find the top 10 best health supplies which can give you the spa experience right in your home –Â http://healthytop10s.com.
Ha, 🙂 I have the same relationship with my dog, she never complains about sailing off to the next anchorage, always eats my cooking and asks for seconds and is more than happy to do the dishes. As far as the stink factor goes, well…I think its a tie. Wow 6 months, where does the time go?
Dear Katie and Mark,
I have enjoyed all of these well-written, nicely visual letters. I have forwarded a few to Kellen, especially ones with photos I thought he’d like or stories of unusual animals, storms at sea, or other excitement.
This one, however, I’m forwarding to older people and married people. Profound and laugh-out-loud funny, it’s one of the keepers.
Thanks for the entertainment, education and inspiration. Happy holidays and love, Claire
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